How to become a successful prophet


1) pick a topic you know nothing about (ie world economics)

2) Make a prediction related to that topic (ie a depression worse than the great depression)

3) Be flexible with your terminology (you say depression, I’ll say recession – just don’t call the whole thing off)

4) Be even more flexible with your terminology (ie “will occur by” becomes “will start by”)

5) Search the internet for anything or anyone that seems to support what you predicted and post the links to prove you were right.

6) Ignore everything and everyone who posts evidence that shows you were wrong.

7) Never admit error – just sit back and hope people forget the things that didn’t work out as predicted.

8) If all else fails claim that your intercession helped prevent the predicted event.

4 thoughts on “How to become a successful prophet

  1. The Charismatic Renewal re-introduced latter day prophecy to a much wider audience, and at the same time created for itself a top down power structure founded in a nurtured gullibility. In a sense to paved the way for today’s Godless market place.

    Too often we’re seeing egos vying for supremacy.

    Re-reading the words of Stanley Frodsham and Smith Wigglesworth, true men of God for their times, there’s a gulf between todays soothsayers and these men of God. I can easily see Frodsham’s words coming to pass in our time; not kind, encouraging words, tickling the ears but the same senses as an OT prophet, a calling back to God. Words delivered in travail, birth in the very presence of God.

    So much of modern Christianity has become cheapened, valueless. These ‘ministers’ are the shop keepser of church, peddling valueless words for a very high price.

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